Shannon Autism Talk Part 2

Katrina Mondragon, MS, LPC, LMHC and Special Guest, Shannon!!!

Sponsored by Katrina Mondragon, PLLC (Est. 2016)

Join us as Shannon shares what it is like parenting neurodivergent kiddos on this week's episode of I Don't Know, streaming everywhere under the artist name katrinadragon

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Greetings, fellow humans, Katrina here. Welcome to another episode of I Don't Know because I don't know what we're going to talk about, but I got someone here with me who's new, a new face. So would you like to introduce yourself?

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Yes. Hi, I'm Shannon. I'm a mom of two neuro neurodivergent boys, and I'm here to talk about what it's like raising children.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

What would you say are some like are there any like common misconceptions or stereotypes about autism spectrum disorder that you'd like to get corrected?

SPEAKER_01 0:30

So many, so many. A common misconception that a lot of people tend to have, and it's very frustrating. And I've had people very close within, I'd say my close circle, you know, my supporting team have said, you know, some of these things they'll grow out of. You know, and it's like, you know, that's a hopeful thought, it is. And I understand why people would say it, but at the same time, it's like, you know, that's like telling somebody who's, you know, born without feet, you know, yeah, you'll walk someday. You know, they might, they might, you know, be able to get the prosthetics and all the therapies and the, you know, the reality is we don't know. Right. But the reality is you don't know, and they might not ever. And that's kind of a defeating thing to say to somebody who knows the odds are stacked against them. So it's it's frustrating in a sense when it's like people think it's, you know, a phase, and it's like it's not a phase, you know. Some people definitely struggle for the rest of their life to even complete simple tasks as brushing your teeth and washing yourself, you know, all those things. And I think a lot of people very easily take it for granted without realizing it's not that easy for everybody.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

What about the flip side of that? What are some things that kiddos excel at?

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Oh, so many. My oldest is extremely smart, and I know it's can be a negative thing to be able to manipulate situations in your your benefit, but he's learned to do that to a degree.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

And not all manipulation is bad though, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Right, right. And that's when, too, you learn how to, you know, go to therapies and you learn to make some things that could be seen negatively into a positive. And you know, I've recently told him, hey, you know, study real hard, get, you know, get through school, and I think you'd make a great lawyer because you love to argue. And, you know, that's again, that's a common negative misconception that people make on other people, like, oh, they love to argue, they're you know, gonna be have issue. And it's like, hey, make that a positive, become a lawyer, fight for people, you know, be on the right side, you know, don't be a prosecutor.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Right.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

But but yeah, like make it make your strengths really work for you.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

What are some other strengths, maybe either for yourself or that they have?

SPEAKER_01 3:07

I think for my young, my youngest son, some of his strengths are, and I it's again, I think people tend to underestimate him due to where he's at cognitively and emotionally, and you know, the whole spectrum of where he's at. And so often he breaks the barrier that somebody put on him.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Nice. So they sound resilient.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Oh, very much.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

I know, so you're gonna get a big feeling now.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

I am because you know, that's the big when you can see the strengths, it makes you really proud, you know, because I've had people tell me they won't reach those those goals, or you know, especially my little one, my youngest, with him being on a level two autism and having his delays. You know, there's a lot of well, this might not happen for him.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Can you explain the levels? Like you said, level two.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

How many levels are there? There's three levels to it. Level one is a little bit more just you struggle with your feelings, your emotions. Sometimes you, you know, you're perceived very much because again, with you know, neuro neurological disorders, people don't see a physical ailment, so they don't assume you're handicapped to any degree or that you have a disability because it's not physical. And I think it's visible, yeah. And I think there's times where people very much oh, sorry, I lost my thought. Very much use that as like negative conversation because they they don't understand it. And when you don't understand something, it's very much easy to stand against it when you don't understand it.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

I've heard that understanding makes a big difference. What would you like people to understand about it?

SPEAKER_01 5:23

That you just need to have some patience and you need to understand when somebody tells you, like, hey, I have a learning disability, or you know, I struggle with being sympath having sympathy because it just doesn't come naturally to me because of the way my brain is wired, and not automatically putting them in a category or looking at them in a negative light, or try to paint them into a common word that's often used, oh, you're narcissist, you know, because you don't have any sympathy for others. And sometimes it's not necessarily that they're, you know, a narcissist, which is often thrown around too much, but it's I agree.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

I have an episode where it says maybe your ex is not a narcissist.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Yeah, exactly. And you know, and sometimes it's also hard for people, and in those moments, you know, I've called people out and had them kind of take a look inward and say, you know, you're you're not are you sure you're a hundred percent normal or okay to point these fingers or say these things, or you don't struggle with your own emotions? Do you understand all your emotions? Can you communicate your feelings? And that's when you have to, you know, kind of sometimes check people in a respectful way and remind again at the end of the day, we're all human, we're all on the same big blue rock trying to get through life.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

And a lot of humans can't name a lot of their emotions. I mean, there's a couple resources like feelingswheel.com, but like there's this book by Brene Brown. I don't know if you've heard of her. She wrote Atlas of the Heart, and she goes through 82 different emotional experiences from like awe to heartbreak to everything in between. And she puts them in categories, not alphabetically like she had originally thought, because she's like a shame researcher, and so she's very analytical-minded. She was gonna put them alphabetical, and her students told her, Don't do that. So she put it as places you go when. So it's like places you go when you feel safe. Places you go when you feel belonging, places you go when you feel rejected. It's like naming the different places and then putting emotions in them. And yeah, I don't know if you'd ever heard of her.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Yeah, no, but that's definitely something I'm gonna put on my to read list now. Thank you, because I love a good read, I love a good book, I love to continue to learn and find out more, more about the you know, the spectrum, more about feelings, more about anything, you know.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Do you read it to your kids?

SPEAKER_01 7:50

I do, not as much as I should, but they are also getting to a point in an age, especially my oldest being 10 years old. Uh quite often, why don't you read to your little brother? You read that, read that to me. You know, he recently, a couple months ago, has had to assign a paperwork at school, and I had him read about what was written on the page, and it had to do with you know, code of conduct and agreeing to how he will behave at school and things to that degree. And he read it all out loud, and some there's some pretty big words a little bit past his you know grade level that he was able to, you know, kind of get through. He did sound them out, he didn't fully pronounce them correctly, but he did good enough. He he could, yeah, he did good enough. And it was I was a very proud mom in that moment. And it was like, you know, you're you're getting there, kid. You're doing it.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

Well, you sound like a proud mom and a good mom. Before we sign off, is there anything else you want to share with everyone?

SPEAKER_01 8:53

I think that you should just stay kind and try to treat others the way you truly want to be treated. And I think that not enough people take that wind of advice that you know our moms, maybe when we were children, gave us, but at the end of the day, you you get more with honey than you do with the other one.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Accurate, accurate. All right, long enough now.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Thank you.